So I get emotional... Sometimes too emotional... And when I get emotional, I get confused and make no sense. I often retreat into my shell then and don't come out until I'm coaxed. When we fight, I argue about things that have absolutely nothing to do with the situation at hand. I know it's not right, but I can't seem to help it. It seems to be my defence mechanism and I can't stop myself. When you bring it to my attention, it's like my defence has been shattered and I'm standing there, open and vulnerable to attack.
I don't ever intend to hurt you, but sometimes I say things in the heat of the moment which sounds right in my head, sounds fair in my head, then when it comes out, its all wrong. I need you to believe that I never intend to cause you the least bit of pain. in fact, my sole purpose in life seems to be to make you happy... and I need you to believe that.
When I met you, I never knew how to say sorry... I never had the "apology module" programmed into me... My parents never taught me to say sorry. With you, I had to learn to say sorry because you mean more to me than my ego or being right. And sometimes I do say sorry even when I don't feel as if I'm wrong. Because you mean everything to me...
So all I ask, is that when I get emotional, please try to understand me instead of getting angry... It may take a while to understand my reaction in that situation, because I will ten to one, not understand it myself... When I do tell you I don't want you to do something, or I'm upset about something... Give me a chance... Give me a chance to get to a place where I understand my own reaction so I can explain it to you properly... Give me a chance to show you that I'm not trying to hurt you... Beacuse with patience I can get there quicker.
I love you for not leaving in anger... For giving me that chance this time. I love you for holding me when I needed to be held...
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Things I've learnt...
I've been playing with the idea of this glob of text for a while now... And I think I'm finally ready to write it...
Things I've learnt... in the life of a 25 year old female...
People are not perfect... least of all yourself. And you have to forgive them for that. Forgive everyone around you and forgive yourself. Give everyone a chance and give yourself a chance. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone around you, and you! So forgive them, forgive yourself, and move on, making things better than they were before.
Value the people who value you. Keep those who value you in your life, and let go of those to whom you are a mere convenience. The people who value you will add to your life and those who don't will take away from it. Life is about growing, not wilting from an imbalance of energy. Those who sap your energy will never change, so let them sap elsewhere.
Your parents are not always right. They too are human and make mistakes. So let them be their own people and you be yours. Love them regardless, even if you don't speak to them for a while. Let them know you care, even if they don't return the sentiment.
People will speak about you. It will happen from Primary school, right through your life. Hold your head high and live with it. Keep your own concience clean and let them talk... at least when they are talking about you, they are leaving some other poor soul alone.
People need milestones. They live for Birthdays, Christmas, Valentines, Easter etc. Let them. Milestones give everyone something to look forward to in this day and age where we never stop. These days everything is a race. Milestones give people the "Stop the world" feeling where they can appreciate the time they spent and the effort they made getting to that milestone. Leave people to their Milestones, congratulate them if its appropriate. After all, you have milestones of your own...
Change happens. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Change is a fact of life and we cannot stop the Juggernaut. When you try stand in the way of change you will be bowled over and very likely be hurt in the process. Accept the change, adapt to it and live through it.
Give of yourself. It's the first step in living a full life. I heard somewhere that "No man is an Island" and it's true. You cannot give of yourself without getting back. Giving of yourself gives you something more than just satisfaction. It gives you purpose.
Let yourself cry. It's the only true way to express your emotions. Bottled up emotions are not healthy... In any way. And if anyone can't deal with your tears, it's because they don't know how to cry. If you can, help them along the path to learning how. If you can't, accept them, don't hold it against them.
So in my 25 years, these are some of the things I've learnt... Like me though, my lessons are a work in progress... I hope my lessons help you along in some way...
Things I've learnt... in the life of a 25 year old female...
People are not perfect... least of all yourself. And you have to forgive them for that. Forgive everyone around you and forgive yourself. Give everyone a chance and give yourself a chance. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone around you, and you! So forgive them, forgive yourself, and move on, making things better than they were before.
Value the people who value you. Keep those who value you in your life, and let go of those to whom you are a mere convenience. The people who value you will add to your life and those who don't will take away from it. Life is about growing, not wilting from an imbalance of energy. Those who sap your energy will never change, so let them sap elsewhere.
Your parents are not always right. They too are human and make mistakes. So let them be their own people and you be yours. Love them regardless, even if you don't speak to them for a while. Let them know you care, even if they don't return the sentiment.
People will speak about you. It will happen from Primary school, right through your life. Hold your head high and live with it. Keep your own concience clean and let them talk... at least when they are talking about you, they are leaving some other poor soul alone.
People need milestones. They live for Birthdays, Christmas, Valentines, Easter etc. Let them. Milestones give everyone something to look forward to in this day and age where we never stop. These days everything is a race. Milestones give people the "Stop the world" feeling where they can appreciate the time they spent and the effort they made getting to that milestone. Leave people to their Milestones, congratulate them if its appropriate. After all, you have milestones of your own...
Change happens. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Change is a fact of life and we cannot stop the Juggernaut. When you try stand in the way of change you will be bowled over and very likely be hurt in the process. Accept the change, adapt to it and live through it.
Give of yourself. It's the first step in living a full life. I heard somewhere that "No man is an Island" and it's true. You cannot give of yourself without getting back. Giving of yourself gives you something more than just satisfaction. It gives you purpose.
Let yourself cry. It's the only true way to express your emotions. Bottled up emotions are not healthy... In any way. And if anyone can't deal with your tears, it's because they don't know how to cry. If you can, help them along the path to learning how. If you can't, accept them, don't hold it against them.
So in my 25 years, these are some of the things I've learnt... Like me though, my lessons are a work in progress... I hope my lessons help you along in some way...
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