So I get emotional... Sometimes too emotional... And when I get emotional, I get confused and make no sense. I often retreat into my shell then and don't come out until I'm coaxed. When we fight, I argue about things that have absolutely nothing to do with the situation at hand. I know it's not right, but I can't seem to help it. It seems to be my defence mechanism and I can't stop myself. When you bring it to my attention, it's like my defence has been shattered and I'm standing there, open and vulnerable to attack.
I don't ever intend to hurt you, but sometimes I say things in the heat of the moment which sounds right in my head, sounds fair in my head, then when it comes out, its all wrong. I need you to believe that I never intend to cause you the least bit of pain. in fact, my sole purpose in life seems to be to make you happy... and I need you to believe that.
When I met you, I never knew how to say sorry... I never had the "apology module" programmed into me... My parents never taught me to say sorry. With you, I had to learn to say sorry because you mean more to me than my ego or being right. And sometimes I do say sorry even when I don't feel as if I'm wrong. Because you mean everything to me...
So all I ask, is that when I get emotional, please try to understand me instead of getting angry... It may take a while to understand my reaction in that situation, because I will ten to one, not understand it myself... When I do tell you I don't want you to do something, or I'm upset about something... Give me a chance... Give me a chance to get to a place where I understand my own reaction so I can explain it to you properly... Give me a chance to show you that I'm not trying to hurt you... Beacuse with patience I can get there quicker.
I love you for not leaving in anger... For giving me that chance this time. I love you for holding me when I needed to be held...
