Lately I’ve
found myself conflicted. For a while now, I have removed myself from nonsense
and petty trivialities, but having spent some time with one or two folks, I
found myself slightly sucked in by silly hooey again and I realized this
morning that I have been conflicted.
The
conflict comes in where I realize I’ve been sucked in by some (not all, thank
goodness) of the drivel, and where I realized that I also, just live to ride…
My life at the moment consists of moments where I am on my bike or where I long
to be on my bike. I long to just ride, swing my leg over, start her and we just
escape all the trivial foolishness and fly…
Getting on
my bike is like a mini holiday of sorts. It is stress relief, it is escape, it
is liberation in the truest sense of the word. When I ride, all I think about
is riding, no petty rubbish, no politics, no chatter. It’s a kind of solitude I
have never known in all my life. The noise of the world is drowned out and I am
alone in myself. My full attention goes to my bike and riding to the best of my
ability. Sometimes it’s slower, sometimes faster, but it’s always something
amazing. It can be a quick, 10 minute ride to the garage to check tyre pressure,
or it can be a longer ride to a jol, either way, I get off her with a feeling
of bliss and enchantment. I get off and I feel untouchable, like nothing in the
world can touch me, much less the petty nonsense of those who endeavor to exasperate
a person. Riding releases all the worries that the world may throw at me and
leaves a feeling of utter peace.
The magnificent
machine my fiancé bought recently for me plays a huge part in that peace. She
is a dream I never knew I had, a lurking wish that had no hope of realization.
In my own mind, I never imagined I would ride such a beautiful beast, never
mind her be my own that I would learn the characteristics of, or the moods or
the quirks. Never did I ever, in my wildest dreams, imagine that I would one
day be part of a team where the mechanical half is such a work of art. She is exquisite
and I love her! I will be forever thankful for the gift that he has given me in
her, for the dream he made come true.
So after
writing this, I find my conflict has evaporated as quickly as the inconsequential
worries that I found myself sucked into. No more, I live to ride, and all the
silly stuff will slide… And the next time I swing my leg over and hear her
heart start beating, I will smile, and know that there is a serenity that I can
revel in when the world gets too loud. Her name is Phoenix and she is my serenity.
